Feeling bummed out on Valentine's Day is par for the course on a holiday that is centered around comparison. If you are single, or in a relationship that doesn't make you feel fulfilled, it's totally normal to have the blues on February 14th! You may find yourself comparing your situation to those around you (or to the picture perfect couples on social media), even letting the little voice in your head beat you up a bit for not having found someone to spend the holiday with.
If the ultimate day of love and commercialism doesn't have you feeling so warm and fuzzy, here are some tips to cope: 1) Stay away from social media the week of Valentine's Day. When we see others who have something that we feel we don't our brains immediately start to go into overdrive, releasing chemicals that actually make us feel down and depressed. By skipping social media, your brain won't be exposed to the triggers that would normally set it off, which will keep you feeling calm and neutral (and I daresay, even positive?). 2) Set clear boundaries with the happy couples in your life. If you don't want to hear about your sisters perfect date plans with her new beau, or your roommates amazing new partner who has the most perfect Valentine's Day planned, set a boundary! Tell them all that you would prefer not to hear about anything Valentine's Day related this year, and that you trust them to respect your boundaries. Doing this will alleviate you from having to hear about anything that might send you into a spiral. 3) Re-brand the holiday as the ultimate day to love YOURSELF. Buy the flowers and the chocolate, book a facial, find the perfect movie, and treat yourself to a day so perfect that only you could be the one to pull it off. Have single friends? Invite them to indulge in the perfect self-love day with you! Flipping the holiday on its head will make you feel loved and cared for in the way that you crave, and remind you that you never need another person to do those things for you when you are perfectly capable of loving on yourself.
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August 2023
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