Many people enter into remarriage with rose-colored glasses, believing that the early years will be similar to the honeymoon period they experienced in their first marriage. With so many additional factors at play in a second marriage, this is almost never the case. Here are three commonly believed myths about remarriage, and a more realistic view of what to expect.
This marriage will be different from the first
Unless you have fully looked at and addressed the issues that came up in your first marriage, history is likely to repeat itself. While the divorce rate for first marriages is 50%, the number increases to 67% for second marriages and 73% for third marriages. This is where couple’s therapy can be a huge asset! As a couple, you have the opportunity to do some preventative work in therapy to help lessen the possibility of a split.
Your children and stepchildren will support the marriage
Divorce and remarriage are extremely difficult times in a child’s life, leaving them feeling confused, lost and uncertain about their future. They are not choosing your new partner- you are. Children feel like they don’t have much of a voice in these instances. So it is important for you as an adult to be patient and prepared to help the kids’ work through whatever personal issues the remarriage brings up for them.
After the wedding, you will instantly become a family.
In your first marriage this may have been a true statement. You got married, bought a house, had children, and each transition was smooth. But in a remarriage the formula is a bit different. The children already have a mother and father and a house that they call home, and this life they had has been disrupted. So it will be crucial to the development of your new family to take your children and stepchildren’s wants and needs into consideration in the hope of speeding the transition process for them and for your new family.
Reiki is a Japanese spiritual healing technique that can help us return to harmony & balance. Reiki is usually referred to as Energy Medicine but Reiki goes a lot deeper than just energy. It is actually Primordial Consciousness (Divine Wisdom) and we channel that through from Practitioner to recipient.
How Does Reiki Work?
Reiki does work very closely with our auric field to promote the body’s relaxation response & strengthen our natural ability to heal by encouraging balance. But my favorite part as a Practitioner is connecting physically with my recipients and creating a level of sacred intimacy in healing touch…. because at the end of the day, we are all not held enough.
What Happens During a Reiki Session?
During a session, the reiki practitioner will place their hands lightly on different areas of the recipient’s body, sometimes starting from the head and working their way down to the feet. Sometimes the hands might hover and/or sometimes the hands touch the recipients body. I usually like to ask my clients what they prefer before a session so I am not overstepping a boundary (this is important!)
Reiki sessions can also include other modalities like breath work, crystal therapy, somatic movements & sacred dance, card pulling, smudging, sound therapy, sacred shares, where you can express anything that is coming up for you in a safe space and really any other modality that intuitively fits the session.
The benefits of reiki include:
~ Deep Relaxation
~ Relief of Stress & Anxiety
~ Eases Muscle Tension
~ Spiritual Awakening
~ Increased Intuition
~ Releases Toxins
~ Boosts Immune System
~ Enhances Creativity
I would love to know! Have you ever seen experienced reiki? What has been your experience?
Sign up for a reiki session with us at The Wellness Collective today!
This post was written by our reiki practitioner, Amanda Burke
Feeling bummed out on Valentine's Day is par for the course on a holiday that is centered around comparison. If you are single, or in a relationship that doesn't make you feel fulfilled, it's totally normal to have the blues on February 14th! You may find yourself comparing your situation to those around you (or to the picture perfect couples on social media), even letting the little voice in your head beat you up a bit for not having found someone to spend the holiday with.
If the ultimate day of love and commercialism doesn't have you feeling so warm and fuzzy, here are some tips to cope:
1) Stay away from social media the week of Valentine's Day. When we see others who have something that we feel we don't our brains immediately start to go into overdrive, releasing chemicals that actually make us feel down and depressed. By skipping social media, your brain won't be exposed to the triggers that would normally set it off, which will keep you feeling calm and neutral (and I daresay, even positive?).
2) Set clear boundaries with the happy couples in your life. If you don't want to hear about your sisters perfect date plans with her new beau, or your roommates amazing new partner who has the most perfect Valentine's Day planned, set a boundary! Tell them all that you would prefer not to hear about anything Valentine's Day related this year, and that you trust them to respect your boundaries. Doing this will alleviate you from having to hear about anything that might send you into a spiral.
3) Re-brand the holiday as the ultimate day to love YOURSELF. Buy the flowers and the chocolate, book a facial, find the perfect movie, and treat yourself to a day so perfect that only you could be the one to pull it off. Have single friends? Invite them to indulge in the perfect self-love day with you! Flipping the holiday on its head will make you feel loved and cared for in the way that you crave, and remind you that you never need another person to do those things for you when you are perfectly capable of loving on yourself.
Feeling a little down in the dumps this winter? Here are five things you can do today to start making yourself feel better:
For more help with beating the Winter Blues, visit our services page to learn about the benefits of each of our offerings!
-Written by Samantha Cameron
Follow her on Instagam @samcamyoga
In 2015, our founder, Danielle Massi, wrote this piece for the Huffington Post. This is a throwback post as all of these myths are still prominent in today's culture, to help you finally unpack some of your fears about seeing a therapist.
There are a lot of myths about therapy that stop people from going in for a session.
Here are 10 of the most common therapy myths -- and the truth! -- straight from the mouth of a therapist:
1. Only Crazy People Go To Therapy
Most clients are ordinary, everyday people with typical problems. Things like the loss of a loved one, a break-up, or a relationship rut are common issues addressed in therapy.
Most people will go through difficult times, and therapy will help the people involved gain better insight on their issue.
2. Only Couples On The Verge Of Breakup Go To Therapy
Some couples find it helpful to have regular relationship check-ups to ensure things are working properly in their relationship. In fact, the happiest couples go in and out of therapy sessions all the time.
A lot of the work we love to do in therapy is preventative measures to help individuals work together efficiently and successfully for the long-term.
3. Once You Start Therapy, You Are In For Life
Some people come for three sessions, others come for three years, but one thing is for sure: The client determines the length of therapy, NOT the therapist. (Some people choose to stay in therapy long-term that is because it makes them feel good when they make positive changes in their lives.)Remember, therapy is a choice that can put you and your partner on the path to a greater understanding of yourselves as individuals and as a couple.
4. Couples Therapy Will Only Make Our Relationship Worse
When a couple seeks treatment, a therapist sees two possible end results for them -- staying together or amicably separating. But the clients are the ones who make that decision.
If both partners want to better their relationship, then the end goal is obvious and the work done in therapy will help alleviate some of the current issues they face. This is where they can bring up things in a safe space and at a time when both people are ready to address whatever issues (known or unknown) are plaguing them.
5. In Couples Therapy, Therapists Side With The Partner Who Acts Like The Victim
This is a common misconception that is absolutely UNTRUE. Every therapist understands that nothing happens in a vacuum -- each partner plays an equal role in every issue.
So when one person is blaming the other, we do our best to help both partners see how they are contributing to the problem and recognize that one person is never completely at fault.
6. "I Should Manage My Own Issues"
Think about when you are feeling ill. You start to sense the sickness coming on, and you make a choice to either see a doctor or wait out the illness and see if it goes away naturally. Sometimes that works and sometimes the sickness becomes debilitating and -- in extreme cases -- degenerative.
Mental health follows the same pattern. Unfortunately, if you wait to seek therapy for a problem, there is not much we can do to salvage it (especially with couples who wait too long to get help).
Therefore, consider going to couples therapy BEFORE the problem is unmanageable. And remember, early recognition of a problem leads to a shorter mean time to resolution (and that equates to less time actually spent in therapy). It is much easier to treat a problem at the beginning stages.
7. "Why Go To Therapy When I Can Just Take Medication?"
Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications are very helpful managing emotions. At their conception, drug and talk therapies worked side-by-side. The idea behind this was that the drugs would alleviate the immediate issue, while therapy would help in the long-term.
This would allow individuals to eventually stop needing to depend on their medications for emotional well-being. Unfortunately, we have lost sight of how these therapies help one another, and instead rely on the quick-fix medications without ever addressing our concerns.
This has led to over-medicated and unresolved individuals. Therefore, it's beneficial to use talk therapy and medications in tandem, or as a holistic replacement for drug-therapy.
8. Therapy Will Make You Feel Shamed And Blamed
The media portrays therapists as intense and controlling, blaming their clients for their troubles. But this is simply not true of real-life therapy. Therapists are compassionate and understanding and will empower you to make your own decisions at your own pace.
9. Therapy Is Like Having A Paid Best Friend -- So Why Pay?
Friends are passionate, sympathetic and care deeply about their friends. But the fact that they're too close to the issue can cloud their judgment. Friends often have motives and opinions that can influence regretful decisions.
Therapists, on the other hand, have years of training, expertise and experience. They care for their clients, but can offer so much more than a friend can -- without the bias. Also, it is much easier to tell someone your deepest, darkest secrets when you have a signed confidentiality agreement.
10. Digging Up The Past Won't Be Helpful
Addressing complicated things you have lived through can, of course, be difficult. But doing so can allow you to see events differently and with a better understanding. This will ultimately give you insight into why you make decisions now based on past events.
Interested in starting a meditation practice, but worried about the process? Here is everything you need to know to put those fears to rest!
Meditation can be defined as a period of quiet reflection and mental engagement in an effort to achieve heightened levels of spiritual connection. While that definition may play into any preconceived notions that you have about how meditation is performed, here are some things to consider.
The Wellness Collective Blog
Your guide to all things health and wellness! Topics range from spiritual growth to relationship help, and everything in between.